The third Creative writing competition this winter revolved around creating a caption to go with this caricature by Stúdentablaðið's editorial committee member Kristinn Pálsson. We received a number of submissions in both Icelandic and English.
“… and, when I suggest a romantic evening, all she wants is a “ísbíltúr”
Ísbíltúr literally translates to “ice-ride” or “ice-drive” and is prevalently used to mean driving to the ice-cream shop, getting ice cream, and then eating said ice cream while driving around town.
A conversation on love’s desperation (translated from Icelandic by Tómas Ari Gíslason)
-Are you in love, Frosty?
-I’ve never known such passion and warmth. Her movements are as brilliant music. The sounds of bees open wide my senses. Everything used to be so dark, so cold. But now I feel light as a feather. Her radiance is so great I feel aglow. It feels like the blinds have been pulled. Finally, the world is bright.
-Have you told her how you feel?
-I have tried, but I feel she doesn’t comprehend me. I have drawn a confession of my love upon the ground, but they evaporate/disappear.When I call, she does not answer. Yet she stares at me for hours, and says nothing. Then she disappears, and upon return, offers no excuse.
-I feel my love is too strong, doctor. I also suspect that there are more who love her like I do. And that she loves others as well. It drives me mad with jealousy. I am so angry, and so in love.
To the doctors’ surprise, he felt choked up. He knew this love Frosty described. He’d been feeling the exact same way lately. He knew his loves hopelessness, and its importance, because he loved her to. With all his heart, so much so that he knew he would die for her. Yet he was terrified of her. If only he needn’t meet her alone.
-What is there to do doctor?
-I will go with you Frosty. There is only one option, and we both know what that is. We don’t wish to die without love, even though its heat will melt us in the end.
The doctors answer surprised Frosty. Was he coming along? The doctor is standing, pulling the curtains aside. Light floods the room. The doctor opens the door onto the balcony and steps outside. Frosty is filled with curiosity and a new hope. ‘He must know what he is doing’ Frosty thinks. From the balcony they see springs bursting colors. They smile until the buttons fall from the corners of their mouths, the carrot plops onto the ground, the branches sag downwards, their bodies turn to water.
They melt into each other. All that’s left is a love-struck puddle.
Finally, she arrives. Licks them up off the ground. Brings them to her.
-Ragnheiður Harpa Leifsdóttir
“Excuse me, but I’d feel a lot better about my appointments on this couch, if they weren’t always right behind the chronic masterbater”
-Páll Axel Sigurðsson
Lóa Hlín Hjálmtýsdóttir judged, and has the following to say about the top 3:
1st: Simple, funny and human. A snowman is moaning about something typical for human beings, but doubtless more serious when snowmen are concerned. I don’t even know what an “ísbíltúr” for snowmen means!
2nd: Not exactly a comic strip text, but since this was very interesting, beautiful and well written, I thought it deserved to place.
3rd: I chose this because it was inappropriate in a fun way, and created a picture in my mind of some poor soul that simplu goes by “The chronic jerk-off”. I also found it funny to go beyond the obvious, and taking the melted snow for ejaculate.
FS awards the top 3 with generous prizes. To the winner goes a gift of books from Bóksala Stúdenta, second place snatches a gift certificate for two to Stúdentakjallarinn and third place a coffee-card from Háma.
Translation: Tómas Ari Gíslason